Surprise Inspection
by DragonyPhoenix
Summary: A surprise inspection of a Demon Research Initiative lab goes about as well as you'd expect.


Jack's gaze ran up the metal staircase that edged against two-flights worth sterile walls and to the elevator beyond. "Where's that go?"

Miller, the soldier at his side, so young he was still wet behind the ears, snapped to attention. "To the frat house, sir."

"Frat house?" His escort wasn't the only kid to jump at Jack's bellow. "Are you telling me all that stands between a playboy frat house and a top-secret U. S. research lab is one lousy elevator?"

"I assure you, sir, the security …"

"Zip it, soldier. I'll get the details later." The security here was crap. Jack had waltzed in unannounced – appropriately enough for a surprise inspection – flashed his badge and been allowed through. No one had called to confirm his right to be here. If they had they would have taken Bessie from him. Jack rested one hand on his jacket pocket and felt the comforting heaviness of a grenade. He was infamous for bringing them onto these inspection tours. It had saved his life more than once.

"Let's see these demons of yours," Jack added. The so-called witches at the last lab he'd inspected had turned out to be a bunch of teenagers playing at devil worship. Jack didn't expect anything more interesting at the DRI – in his experience, these things never panned out – but in this he was surprised.

Through the transparent walls Jack saw things that didn't look human. Some of them couldn't be called human by any stretch of the imagination. He stopped in front of one of the more extreme cases: green skin that looked as tough as leather, horns or possibly tusks. "How do we know they're not human?"

"Sir?"

Jack gestured toward the cage. "Could be a mutation. Sure, it's far off the human norm but if things like that were keeping out of sight and interbreeding …"

"Dr. Walsh might be better able to answer your questions."

He took Jack to the center of the facility, to a large hole that served as both surgical and dissection area as far as Jack could tell. There were two operations going on at the same time with no safeguards for quarantine. An elevator rose out of the hole just as we arrived. It carried a man, short, young – as was everyone here – bit of an egghead. "Dr. McGonigal," Miller said. "We were looking for Dr. Walsh."

"She's, er, unavailable. I'll be continuing the tour." The man was a crap liar.

"Define unavailable."

"Well, I …"

A claxon sounded through the building. Both men looked startled as did the scientists down in the hole. Wonderful. Surprise inspection running a bit late to keep anything bad from happening. Jack turned to the soldier. "This place got an armory?"

"I'm sure it's nothing," McGonigal stuttered.

"Don't care what it is," Jack replied. "Unknown situation. Unknown enemy. I want to be carrying something more than Bessie." Neither man got that but they didn't need to. "Lead the way, kid."

The power went out as Jack was stocking up on weapons. The backup generator clicked on and that's when he saw how white Miller had gone. "Oh shit," the lad said.

"What?"

"The cages."

The soldier didn't need to say anything more. Jack knew what he meant. Electricity had held the cages shut. Another crap design. "You'd better stock up too," Jack said.

"But I'm not authorized …"

"You fought those things?" Jack asked.

Miller nodded.

"They human?"

"No, sir."

"You want to be unarmed when they come at you?"

Miller grabbed a couple of guns. When they got back, the center of the facility was full of … well, given that at least one was human-sized with bat wings and could actually fly, Jack was willing to call them demons, for now at least. "New plan," Jack said. "We're guarding the armory."

"Sir?" Good God but Miller could cram a shitload of disrespect into one word.

"If those men can't reload …" Something ran at them. It's face didn't look quite human. Jack shot, two rounds, straight at the heart. It kept coming.

Miller took it down with a shot from a taser. "Vampire. Bullets won't stop it."

"Wonderful." Something large and furry ran toward them. "Let's see what bullets will stop."

After a dozen more attacks, they were running low on bullets and even the taser as dead. Jack fired a careful shot. "New plan. We return to the armory, one person carries as much as he can while the other covers him."

Jack had taken about two steps back when something flew in over them. They'd each gotten in a few shots but, as far as Jack could tell when he turned to face it, didn't to much damage. "Once more into the fray, kid." There was no response. Jack looked over his shoulder. Miller was gone. "Aw, shit." He ran at the dark creature firing both barrels. When the bullets were gone he used the gun as a club. He must have gotten in a good hit because the demon fell over, right onto him. Pain shot up his leg as it snapped. Jack bit through his lip against the pain, tasting blood sharp and coppery.

Something stirred at the end of the hallway. Vampires. Three of them. The idiots were muttering something about a snack. Oh hell no. Jack put one hand into his pocket comforted by Bessie's weight. He might not be able to safeguard humanity, but he could pay the ferryman's fee. Jack waited for the vampires to come closer. He pulled the pin.


End file.
